What.

Perhaps the most famous running gag in the blog, Troy often reacts to particularly ridiculous events in the books he covers with a simple "What." (period always included, even when it's not grammatically correct)

Original Goosebumps series

• The Ghost Next Door
  • When the shadow-Danny reveals that he wants regular Danny to die so that he can take his place in the real world (and vice-versa).
  • Another one occurs in the paragraph after that, after Hannah realizes that her family was placed back on Earth to ensure Danny survives the fire.
• Attack of the Mutant: An arguable example in the Memorable Cliffhanger Chapter Ending, wherein Skipper's sister puts her hands in the freezer to make them cold and then touches Skipper's neck to freak him out. "Wait, what."
• Werewolf Skin: When it's revealed Alex and Hannah transferred schools despite living at their aunt and uncle's for only two weeks.
• Occurs no less than six times in the entry for A Shocker on Shock Street.
  • When the kids first encounter the giant praying mantises.
  • When the giant praying mantises are defeated by being stepped on.
  • When the kids unexpectedly fall into quicksand.
  • When the kids are rescued from the quicksand by two werewolves.
  • When the kids board a tram, only to find it's filled with skeletons.
  • Finally, in the Foreshadowing Alert, when Erin's dad jokingly suggests keeping Marty on a leash, to which he reacts by acting like a dog.
• The Beast From the East: When a Beast initiates the titular game by slapping Ginger's back and declaring her "It".
• Welcome to Camp Nightmare
  • When Uncle Al warns that the woods are infested with tree bears.
  • When Billy's counselor Larry, while on a canoe trip, ends up falling into the water and drowning.
• The Haunted School: When it's explained that when the entire class of a school disappeared, they simply built a new one around its structure.
• Five (arguably six) are mentioned in the entry for The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena:
  • When the characters discover the titular snowman trapped in a block of ice, Troy has this to say:

    I'm tempted to use a "What." here, but then I won't be able to use it at what comes next:

• He does use one when the snowman breaks free and proceeds to slice open Nicole's backpack to eat the trail mix inside.
  • It also pops up during the ending several times, beginning when Nicole is turned into an ice statue by the magic snow, and the other kids try to defrost her near an open oven...
  • ...then when they try a furnace they have in their shed...
  • ...and then when the snowman freaks out after seeing the sun and runs off into the wilderness.
  • There's also a "Wait, what." in the Memorable Cliffhanger Chapter Ending, when one of the kids drops a foam rock on another kid's head.
• Go Eat Worms!: Used during an altercation with a corpse and a spirit dog that is never mentioned again.
• Chicken Chicken: When Crystal (transformed into a baby chick) is eaten, thrown up, and then played with by Vanessa's pet cat.
• Welcome to Dead House: When Josh accidentally shines his flashlight on Ray's face, causing it to melt off.
• How I Learned to Fly: When Wilson reveals that he trained his dog Terminator to answer the phone when he's not home.
• Say Cheese and Die!: When it's revealed that the evil camera actually captures souls.
• I Live in Your Basement!: A bolded one when Marco is informed that he needs his brain removed.
• The Blob That Ate Everyone: When, after a mouse leaps on Zackie's shoulder as part of a prank, Alex helpfully picks the stray hairs off of him.
• Phantom of the Auditorium: When, after being trapped in a room and attempting to push the door open, the kids realize that it actually opens inwards.
• The Haunted Mask: As Carly Beth is chased by a line of flying masks.
• Legend of the Lost Legend
  • During one point where animal noises surround the kids in their tent and Justin believes (with no evidence whatsoever) that the creature outside is a werewolf.
  • Later in the entry, Troy simply remarks:

    This whole book is one big "What."

• The Headless Ghost has one in the story of how Hill House became haunted (which is repeated four times), after Andrew discovers a ghostly sea captain that pulls off his head and hides it.
• The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb: When Gabe and Sari are locked inside a coffin and awaiting their impending demise, only to find Uncle Ben in there along with them.
• Monster Blood: When it's revealed that Sarabeth (who until that point was assumed to just be an ordinary cat) was the one who caused the entire book's struggles.
• Monster Blood II:
  • When Evan comes up with a plan to contain a giant hamster by becoming giant himself via Monster Blood ingestion and locking him in the supply cabinet.
  • Then later, as the plan fails, Evan and Cuddles abruptly shrink back to normal because the Monster Blood had "expired". This gets an "Ultimate What." from Troy.
• Monster Blood IV: The book's front tagline: "This blood is bad to the bone!"
• Night of the Living Dummy: When Mr. Wood insults Mr. Miller by asking him if he has a mustache or if he's just eating a rat.
• Night of the Living Dummy II
  • When Amy discovers a rotten sandwich inside Slappy's head.
  • Also when Slappy's head cracks open to reveal a giant white worm inside.
• My Best Friend Is Invisible: The twist ending, wherein the titular friend is revealed to be a human, and the rest of the characters are actually aliens, gets this reaction.

Goosebumps Series 2000

• Bride of the Living Dummy: The entire concluding section for this book consists of a solitary "What."
• Invasion of the Body Squeezers: When Jack's teacher becomes possessed by an alien and green ooze begins bubbling from the man's ears.
  • Troy unintentionally references this running gag when he says:

    What. Is. Inside the house?!!

• Revenge R Us: When the female protagonist's older brother wears her underwear on his head in front of her friends as a joke.
• Scream School: This book's tagline: "Student body stalker..."
• Return to Ghost Camp: After not using the catchphrase throughout several of the most recent posts, Troy "resurrect[s] the ol' What." after a scene in this book. During a dream sequence, a camp bus stops at the protagonists house. While many crazy things happen in the dream, Troy says that the bus stopping at the protagonist's house is the most unbelievable element. Much to Troy's confusion, the bus actually does end up stopping at the protagonist's house.
• The Haunted Car: This book's tagline: "Ghosts, start your engines!
• Slappy's Nightmare: This book contains a dream sequence from Slappy's perspective. Bewildered by the outlandish nature of the sequence, Troy rhetorically asks, "ARE YOU [...] WHAT.-ING ME?"
• Earth Geeks Must Go!: This review is written in the form of a psychiatric session transcript. When Troy explains how the humanoid extraterrestrials in the story eat — through their armpits — the doctor responds with a simple "What."
• Ghost in the Mirror: When Jason starts to see a figure emerging from his mirror, Troy says that the story "take[s] a turn for the What."

Special editions

• Goosebumps Live on Stage: Screams in the Night: When Dr. Barton removes five eggs from his pocket.