Double Switch (David Greenwalt 1987)
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| Released: | January 25, 1987
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| Blog date: | November 13, 2011 (~13 years ago.)
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| Followed by: | |
The first of four entries to Shuelogy, Troy covers an obscure made-for-TV movie.
Cast[edit | edit source]
The following list contains the cast members of Double Switch mentioned by Troy. (It is not a comprehensive cast list.)
- George Newbern as Bart / Matt
- Elisabeth Shue as Kathy Shelton
Transcript[edit | edit source]
What's Going On Filmed not long after Shue's debut in the Karate Kid,[1] Double Switch is yet another adaptation of the Prince and the Pauper.[2] This time it's a shy high schooler who trades places with the tired teenage rockstar, both played by George Newbern. Sure one learns to balance the needs of his fame with his own personal needs and the other finally gets the girl he's been pining after, but what life lessons and philosophies can we take from Double Switch?
None of Your Closest Friends or Relatives Would Notice If You Were Replaced
Newbern's Rockstar holds a lookalike contest in Suburban City and naturally finds his exact double. The two immediately switch places and live out their fantasies. But almost no one else notices they've swapped, including people who have seen the switchee every day of their life.
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application The perception of who you are as a person is based more on your appearance than your personality. Dress accordingly.
Life Imitates Art, Just Not Necessarily the Art We Want It to Imitate
Even though Suburban Newbern is a "normal" teenager with happily married parents and a bratty kid sister, these cliched family roles fail to be the right cliches Rockstar Newbern was hoping for after watching episodes of Father Knows Best[3] over and over. Had he watched, oh, I don't know, any sitcom or TV movie actually produced in the eighties, he'd have known better what to expect. As it is, Rockstar Newbern is shocked to discover his new parents won't furnish him with a warm mug of cocoa when he comes home past curfew or cook him elaborate breakfasts. Oh man, that's drastic-- was this a Disney Family Movie of the Week or an After School Special?[4]
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application When entering a new environment, do not automatically assume the results will match your fictional exposure.
Ex. 1 (For Rockstars Who Switch Places With Their Suburban Double) When switching places with your suburban double, don't assume you will solve all of your double's problems. Though you probably will.
Ex. 2 (For Suburban Kids Who Switch Places With Their Rockstar Double) When switching places with your rockstar double, don't assume you will solve all of your double's problems. Though you probably will.
(I think that covers all the bases of my readership)
The Way to Get a Girl Interested in You is to Get Your Ass Kicked
Suburban Newbern can barely muster up the courage to say two words to Shue at school, but she's all about Rockstar Newbern once he sits down and eats lunch in a bold fashion. Even bolder is his approach with the local bully, whom he unnecessarily insults, calling into question the integrity of his digestive tract among other esoteric barbs. The bully responds by grabbing him firmly and sweeping him across an entire lunch table. This is the boldest spark ignited yet for Shue, as she is so dazzled by Rockstar Newbern's ability to get his ass kicked after less than a minute of contact that she simply must invite him out for a bike riding date the following day.
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application When attempting to impress the object of your affection, instigate a fight with the nearest boor. Be sure to do something boldly while waiting for your aggressor to strike. Perhaps you could sit in a chair backwards, that's bold as shit.
The Famous Can Barely Function as Human Beings
While on a date to a fancy restaurant, Rockstar Newbern is shocked to learn that acting like a total asshole to the waiter fails to win him any points with Shue. He's even more flummoxed to learn that goods and services,[5] such as meals at a fine dining establishment, require a return exchange of monetary funds. Because being rich means never having to check your wallet for cash, he's left dumb(er)struck upon discovering he has no money. Luckily, in lieu of cash, fancy restaurants will accept your date's watch. For some reason his date doesn't like having to pay for their meal with her jewelry, and the romantic evening ends with Shue riding off on her motorscooter, forcing Rockstar Newbern to walk all the way home. This might be the first time a famous person has ever had to use their legs, as I believe the wealthy are used to underlings crouching down and grasping their calves firmly while moving them forward in a walking motion. Oh, and later in the film he doesn't understand how a bus works.
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application If ever in the presence of an obnoxious lout, assume the person to be famous until you learn otherwise. Do not accept dates with jerks unless you are carrying enough watches to pay for the both of you.
95% of Guitar Playing is Just Grabbing the Neck of the Instrument and Yanking It Up Towards Your Face
Suburban Newbern manages to avoid performing music for most of the time spent as his rockstar double, which is no small feat considering that's all he reasonably should be expected to be doing. However, his anxieties about performing for an audience despite possessing no musical abilities come to terrifying fruition in the finale, when his bodyguards repeatedly force him on stage to play for an adoring crowd. This of course eventually gets sorted and the real Rockstar takes his rightful place in front of the audience. But I'm not sure why Suburban Newbern was so worried about his musical abilities, as based on the evidence shown in the film, playing guitar simply involves wearing it across your torso and craning the neck of the instrument repeatedly upwards.
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application If ever confused for a rockstar and pressed to perform for a crowd of their adoring fans, oblige. Remember to pull the guitar neck up. If you pull it down: Altamont.[6]
Being Famous Solves Everything, Even If You're Not Famous
Once Rockstar Newbern takes his place on the stage, he's pretty much tied a bow on fixing his life back. But oops, he kinda killed the deal with Suburban Newbern's romance with Shue. Rockstar Newbern fixes this by dedicating a generic eighties pop rock song to the couple, who are watching from the audience. Suburban Newbern gets a warm hug from Shue in return and all's well.
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application When asking for forgiveness, don't be honest or direct. Instead, get a famous musician to dedicate a tuneless song to you and yours. If you don't know any famous musicians, do not attempt to correct or make up for transgressions on your own.
At Least a Third of the Frame of Any Film is Wasted on Superfluous Visual Information
Double Switch is something of a rarity and there are no commercially available copies of the film available. My "back channels" copy came sourced from a TV broadcast which originally aired with Portuguese subtitles burnt into the image. Thankfully whoever made the video file of the film thoughtfully just cropped out the bottom third of the image. It's pretty seamless, I think you'll agree:
But really, the helpful bootlegger who made this decision was just reinforcing what we already know: no one really needs all of that information in the frame. Widescreen TVs have frankly wrecked the beautiful "full frame" editions that used to be so prevalent in DVD bins and VHS shelves. Nowadays one has to crop their own films, often manually. This isn't a problem for me, as I normally watch my films with my hand in front of my face, covering the bottom third of the picture anyways, but not everyone is an enlightened cineaste like me. To prove my point, here's some frames readjusted (and I dare say "fixed") for the Double Switch ratio:
The classic image of innocence lost, now literally, from Citizen Kane[7]
Vertigo's[8] thrilling rooftop chase, now made all the more thrilling because now maybe he's floating or something?
And who could forget the icy beauty of Gene Tierney in this early scene from Otto Preminger's masterpiece, Whirlpool?[9]
Non-Elisabeth Shue Film Application There's a reason your TV and DVD/Blu-ray players come with a "ZOOM" function. Insist on filling your TV screen with only the most important parts of a film's frame.[10] Don't let Hollywood tell you which parts are important, either.
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ A 1984 film.
- ↑ A novel by Mark Twain that's been adapted many times.
- ↑ A sitcom from the 1950s.
- ↑ After school specials were a type of television movie aimed at a teenage audience, typically focusing on social issues (such as substance abuse, teen pregnancy, bullying, or other themes) relevant to teenagers.
- ↑ Possibly a reference to The Simpsons, a scene where Homer's brain needs to remind him how money works.
- ↑ The Altamont Free Concert was a music event held on December 6, 1969, at the Altamont Speedway in northern California. For the event, a notorious motorcycle gang called the Hells Angels were hired as security. Nobody could have ever foreseen that violence would break out. (That's foreshadowing, by the way.) Several people were killed. The event has since become a symbol of the end of the 1960s and of the "peace and love" era.
- ↑ Citizen Kane by Orson Welles is considered to be a masterpiece of filmmaking, sometimes regarded as the best film ever made.
- ↑ Vertigo is a 1958 psychological thriller film directed by Alfred Hitchcock, also considered one of the greatest films ever.
- ↑ Otto Preminger's Whirlpool is a psychological noir thriller. Preminger is a highly regarded director, and was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Director on two occasions.
- ↑ Troy is probably riffing on a common issue with home video. DVDs and other home releases often crop movies to make them fit on a television or computer screen, much to the chagrin of cinephiles (like Troy). Since movies are typically filmed in a different aspect ratio than home monitors, the edges of the picture will sometimes get cropped out. This can result in details being removed from the final image.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- This blog post stands out from other entries on Shuelogy in several ways:
- Out of all four blog entries, this is the only one (as of 2023) that still has a functioning trailer linked at the end. Go figure.
- This is the only entry to have multiple images.
- Of the films Troy reviewed, this is the only one so obscure that it doesn't have a Wikipedia page (...as of 2023).
- The latest Blogger Beware entry prior to this post was More Tales to Give You Goosebumps (from more than 6 months earlier).
