Look Back in Langour

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Look Back in Langour[1]
The illusion of blankness.png
Book information
Blog date: May 2, 2011 (~13 years ago.)
Preceded by: Original series retrospective
Ghost in the Mirror (last Series 2000 book)
Followed by: More Tales to Give You Goosebumps (blog post)
Revenge of the Living Dummy (first HorrorLand book)

The long-awaited Series 2000 retrospective!... is not as exciting as you'd hoped.

Transcript[edit | edit source]

So, everyone wants a retrospective on the Series 2000 books. It's probably my fault, as I'm sure I at some point promised such a thing to be forthcoming.[Note 1] But I meant that in the same way I say, "We should really hang out some time, and not in that way people say 'Let's hang out,' but really hang out" and then we don't ever hang out. So we should retrospective, right? Well, here's the rub:[2] I can't remember, like, all of these books. Either I read them again, which is never going to happen ever in a million evers, or I do this: Write down everything I can remember about each book, from memory, without checking. Results may vary.

01 Cry of the Cat
Okay, I remember a couple things from this book. One, a cat gets decapitated with a bike. Two, there's a cat tornado made of cats. When those are your one and two, who needs a three?

02 Bride of the Living Dummy
I recall Slappy giving some girl a "love tap." I also recall that because Blogger sux, I can't edit that entry without messing up the "FUCK THIS BOOK" text rainbow.

03 Creature Teacher
Um, there's a teacher who's also a monster that eats children if they don't perform well at a talent show. Very realistic commentary on something. Certainly not education. Almost surely not talent shows or monsters or eating, either.

04 Invasion of the Body Squeezers: Pt 1
I think this is the one about hugging.

05 Invasion of the Body Squeezers: Pt 2
Or is it this one?

06 I Am Your Evil Twin
Probably not this one. I do vaguely recall there being a truck with a scientist in this one, though. This seemed like a much funnier idea when I thought I'd remember anything at all about these books.

07 Revenge R Us
Lite R ally R emember nothing about this one.

08 Fright Camp
Okay, this is the one where the kids go to a camp that's run by a Wes Craven[3]-type character. And there's a raccoon-type animal on the cover. It's probably a raccoon.

09 Are You Terrified Yet?
No idea what this is. So, no.

10 Headless Halloween
I don't remember a single thing about this one, either. Like, I can't even picture the cover right now. Possibly this book doesn't exist. Get Trump[4] on the horn.

11 Attack of the Graveyard Ghouls
This is the one where the kid gets tricked into switching bodies with a dead person in the graveyard and then the zombies run around in the streets with axes, chopping up car windows and setting fires. This one, oddly enough, was a relevant commentary on education, talent shows, monsters, and eating.

12 Brain Juice
Finally, one I actually remember. Some kids run afoul of aliens who want to make everyone dumb or smart or something. Okay, so "remember" is relative. I at least can recall the existence of this book.

13 Return to Horrorland
There's a news crew that wants the kids from the original to go undercover at the park, but then it turns out the crew is actually in cahoots with the park or the government or something. Let's build an entire series around that[5]

14 Jekyll and Heidi
I think remembering this one is cheating since surely it's a Jekyll and Hyde story?

15 Scream School
Kid who pranks another kid is a dead kid. Book sets up unlikely hoax involving a movie set or something. Drop Dead Fred[6] was on the cover. Next.

16 the Mummy Walks
How is it that I can recall the Celery Stalks at Midnight,[7] which I haven't read in twenty-two years, but I can't remember anything about this book I read a couple years ago?

17 the Werewolf in the Living Room
Awful werewolf story, even by Stine's standards, that takes a weird turn two-thirds through with the main character being kidnapped by some sort of carny.[8]

18 Horrors of the Black Ring
I remember this entry being really funny. Is that narcissistic of me? To be fair, I can't even remember what I wrote for most of these, much less what the source material was.

19 Return to Ghost Camp
Gay camp story, and no, that's not redundant.

20 Be Afraid-- Be Very Afraid!
Oh man, this is the most ridiculous Goosebumps book ever. So much so that I actually remember parts of it, with its time travel and card playing and Jumanjing.[9] Glad I wisely resisted a My Sister Sam[10] joke in this entry, that's what I recall most fondly.

21 the Haunted Car
Kid loves cars we've heard of slightly less than a car no one's ever heard of.

22 Full Moon Fever
Awful werewolf story, even by Stine's standards, that takes a weird turn two-thirds through with the main character being greeted by a werewolf in the living room.[8]

23 Slappy's Nightmare
Slappy must do good deeds for some reason. Turns out another dummy is counteracting his good deeds with bad ones. Stretches believability with premise that more than one sentient doll could be gallivanting around someone's house without anyone noticing.

24 Earth Geeks Must Go!
Earth geeks went.

25 Ghost in the Mirror
Let's Get Indefensible![11]


Well, there's only one way left to salvage this retrospective:

[1][12][13]

Notes[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. 1.0 1.1 This post's title is a play on the 1950's play and film Look Back in Anger, concerning the relationships between a handful of people in a changing industrial town in England. The title of the video at the end of the post references the same piece of media, but it uses a spoonerism.
  2. The use of this expression is likely a reference to Shakespeare's Hamlet.
  3. Famous horror movie director, most famous for creating A Nightmare on Elm Street and Scream.
  4. Donald Trump is a famous businessman who is known for hosting The Apprentice.
  5. A reference to Goosebumps HorrorLand, something that Troy at one point tried to review.
  6. Drop Dead Fred was a 1992 movie about the titular hyperactive imaginary friend returning to his creator in her adulthood, after she suffered an emotional crisis. Judge your appearance for yourself.
  7. The third book in the Bunnicula series of children's books (parodying The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight in the title). The series as a whole concerned a family bringing home the titular fanged rabbit, which causes the family cat Chester to believe that he is actually a lapine vampire.
  8. 8.0 8.1 Troy pulls a subtle bait-and-switch here - the carny kidnapping described for The Werewolf in the Living Room actually occurs in Full Moon Fever, and vice versa for the "greeting a werewolf in the living room" bit.
  9. Jumaji was a 1995 Robin Williams movie about a board game which could summon things into reality (which Be Afraid ruthlessly copied).
  10. Late 80's sitcom starring Rebecca Schaeffer. About a year after the series ended, she was shot dead by Robert John Bardo, who'd been stalking her for a while. The joke Troy is referring to would be conflating the "Stelks" with "stalking".
  11. Obviously a pun on the original series Goosebumps book Let's Get Invisible!
  12. A poster for the 1963 romantic comedy A New Kind of Love is featured in the background of the video.
  13. The audio playing in the background is from "Jerry's Painting," an episode of Parks and Recreation.